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Submitted on
June 15, 2010
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I hate pop culture of today. It really does suck. My words and thoughts aren't enough to fathom how shitty it is. The music is garbage, and these awful reality shows make me want to decapitate bunnies. What the hell is wrong with North America (mostly the States) and their crap?

As you're reading this, you may be offended. You'll defend your artists all you want, but that can't change the fact that my deceased can make better music than Lady GaGa. I know what you're thinking -----> "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" *snap, snap, snap* "OH YES!...I DID!". Regardless, nobody cares if she's "bluffin' with her muffin". I GET IT! YOU'RE BISEXUAL!...did you really have to waste 3 minutes of my time? LADY GAGA SPAM! But she's all like the most uber awesome popular artist right now. People's only excuse for it to be "good" is the fact that they can dance to it. Music's purpose isn't just for dancing. It's for pondering your thoughts, brooding over emotions, and all that deep stuff. So just dance! Go to that club looking totally superficial grinding a total stranger for 3.5 hours hitting it off with a one night stand leaving the girl pregnant and then you're stuck getting married and eventually hanging yourself once you reach the age of 25. Doesn't this sound smashing?

Now onto one of my most splendid things to talk about...REALITY T.V! *cough* HOLY FUCK NO! *cough* I hate reality television so much! Huh? You ask me why? Sorry schizophrenia, you aren't a part of this essay. Calm down, shut up, and just listen for once, okay? Does anybody actually care why Khloe Kardashian takes over 30 minutes to take a dump? Okay, so I've never actually seen it, but the bullshit needs to go somewhere. Dancing with the Stars. This is probably one of the worse ones out there. All they do is take mediocre B-List stars from the 80s, pimp'em out in formal skankware, have them dance with professionals, then call it a show. I feel as if, that most of these shows are like ego boosts to people who have surprisingly shitty lives. We don't need this, since most people are already ego-maniacs.

All you bookworms and smart peoples must think that your love of books, and fine literature is untainted, yes? HELL NO YOU'RE WRONG! *slaps them all in the face* Even I thought this as well. But ever since Stephenie Meyer came around and shat out the Twilight series and The Host, my books feel dirty and unclean. That's probably because I'm prone to spilling caffeinated beverages on them a lot (sorry books) *sobs*. To be unbiased, I too read Twilight, and am reading New Moon presently. And now I feel like Bella, a monotone , brown-haired teenager, with a vampire fetish (wait a minute...I already am that...minus being female...). Yes, I like vampires! But not the sparkly, bouncy, fairy-type who stalk their crushes at night while touching themselves. I thought the aristocratic ones were cool since I was seven years old. But the ones from Stephenie's P.O.V. are weird. Fangirls/boys fangasm over these fictional entities going to movie premieres/book signings, it's almost pathetic.'s just plain pathetic. They only believe that series is fathomable, because they can place themselves into the book so easily. It really isn't, it can't. SHUT UP! STOP TALKING! *twitches* Your words are useless, and so are Ms. Meyer's. I'd rather hang with Harry any day than with bouncy/sparkly fuck-heads.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?.......................................................oh!'re asking me a question? Well "that" was simply me telling you that you suck for enjoying suckage. YES IT'S TRUE! All of you have this unearthly desire to fit in with everybody. I don't even think you like all the crap you've wasted excessive amounts of time on. *cue maniacal laughter* MUAHAHA! Ya, I called it on you! You don't enjoy it, do you? You only practice necrophilism because Edward Cullen told you, right? WELL THAT'S FUCKING SAD! Were you crying over Taylor Swift's music because it moved you? Or were the tears from pure agony? None of you enjoy this cultured diarrhea, yet you grit your teeth and do it anyways. It may be true, BUT I DON'T CARE! Go ahead! Suffer with shit the rest of your already short lives! And while you rot and decay in the filthy, money-pumped fantasy, I'll be enjoying myself. HOW IS THIS FAIR? How you ask? *slaps* Well cause I'd rather not waste my time with that puke and stick to drawing and anime. Yeah, I'm far from popular, but who gives a shit? I'll just be much happier in the long run. SURPRISE BITCHES! *runs away* *cue theme music "READY STEADY GO!!"*
This was a mandatory informal essay for my English class in Grade 11. I really liked it, and so did my teacher. Enjoy, and comments please.
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smashproductions Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013
I know this essay is three years ago but I agree with you. That's why everyday I'm dress up either in 1970s or 80s, but mostly 90s style guy and people sometimes ask me "why do you dress like that?" I say "Today's culture sucks, I rather dress good than looking poor."
GhoulMine1 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Billy Joe Armstrong seems to share your opinon.
He's been around since 1988 and he's pissed at how Usher,Bieber and all that other crap is getting self-promoted
SylverDragonREX Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012
I just read this, and I agree with just about everything you said. This is why I consider myself a 90's/early millenium kid. I was born in 1994, and if I'd grown up with the bullshit of today, I'd probably have shot myself long ago O.o

I remember when tv wasn't all about crappy reality shows, and Cartoon Network still had *gasp*.... CARTOONS? Who would've thought.
beautifulcreature21 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2011  Student Photographer
Damn! You tell it like it is.;)
sohma-sohma Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you!:bow:
azbilcreak Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2010  Student General Artist
:D:D:D:D:D:D OMG!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!! SOMEONE WITH SOME SENSE!!!!!! :hug: :excited:
Awesome essay! Very true. Very entertaining! Much better than any of the crap books by popular authors that I could be reading right now. :) :highfive:
sohma-sohma Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm glad I entertained you:) I just think something needed to be said about the crap that exists today.

Also thanks for the :+fav: on it, and the llama:)
azbilcreak Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010  Student General Artist
:D Yup
And your welcome! :D:D:D
fullmetaladdict1101 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I personally think the 90's music is the best.
sohma-sohma Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
Haha I was born in the 90s' and I barely remember the music in it. I fail!:XD:
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